loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
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i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
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But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
All the doctor said was why
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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