I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
