I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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