I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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