pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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