Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
