the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
