my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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