oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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