There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She's the barista slut.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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