you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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