nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
