the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
