Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Randomize
