Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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