is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
