woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
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