Im at strip club and am horny
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
