Do you still have your period?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
The adults are the big ones right?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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