Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Fuck appropriateness.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
