I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.