She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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