I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
