My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize