Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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