I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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