i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Randomize
