I hate all girls vehemently.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
