sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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