That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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