ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
now i know why i became what i already was.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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