what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Randomize
