I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I see more hoeing in ur future
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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