how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
