I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize