For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
