saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
