Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
