Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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