next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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