yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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