we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
