meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
