to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
