I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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