Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your dick twin last night
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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