Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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