just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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