I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Let's paint friendship bongs
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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