I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
