I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
