oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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