So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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