I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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