call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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