my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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