There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just blew my weed a kiss
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
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